This is a blog about our journey of adoption from the beginning;
typed by me, written by God.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Here I am

My wonderful friend, Holly, wrote a great blog post on Confessions and explained wholeheartedly the truth about herself through examples. She did this in response to the perception that everyone has of others around them online. My friend, Mandy wrote about "Perception Management" and explained this same concept. Since Holly decided to do a True Confessions Link-Up because of the response she got on her blog, here are my confessions:

I don't read the bible as much as I should. I try to memorize parts of the bible and specific verses, but I don't read through books of the bible very much. I blame it on anxiety, and most of it is that (I can't focus on reading anything very much because my mind is always going); however, I'm being lazy too.

I still care what people think about me. I care what they think about how I look, dress, with/without makeup, etc. It's not very good. I'm working on that and am getting better; but not to the point where I don't care at all yet.

I feel like crying almost every time I see a mom and her baby. Or when people talk about making a blanket, clothes, going to a baby shower, etc. for their friend that's having another baby. I feel jealous, sad, angry, all at the same time. I want to be a mother so bad and it's so hard to wait.

I don't think that I'm worth much sometimes. I feel stupid when I don't know something and get corrected on it. I feel lazy when I don't clean or work much outside the house, but have been spending most of the day doing my Avon work while watching TV. Others seem to have found their "calling" and are busy working or being moms, etc. but I'm just stumbling around trying to figure out what it is that I'm meant to do.

That's all for now. Though there's much more, I will write more in a later blog.

Stay tuned, I'll be writing about our adoption meeting with the social worker tomorrow!!  :-)  Night!


  1. Oh yay! You have a blog! Caitie, thanks so much for sharing. I can empathize in so many many of us can. And, I am excited to follow your adoption journey. So excited. Thanks for sharing it with us. :-)

    1. Thanks Mandy! It's so great to have wonderful Christian friends like you! I'm blessed :)

  2. Those are great confessions! Great meaning I feel like I know you so much better, in a good way. I am right there with you on most of them. I love you friend and am so excited for your adoption journey to begin. Thanks for participating in this link-up.

    1. :) Love you too friend!
      Thank you :)